Words Men Don't Use
I was talking to my wife the other day and she mentioned that her tummy was upset. I said to her, "You know, most men would never use the word tummy."
"What?"
"The word tummy. Most men would never use it in a sentence."
"Why not?"
"I don't know... it just seems like... like a feminine word."
Sarcastically, she asked me, "Well, what would a "real" man say instead?
I responded with, "Stomach. A "real" man would say stomach. It's possible that he would use the word belly, but that even has a slightly feminine edge to it."
This started a conversation on other words that I would never use and I think I can speak for a lot of other men as well. I have listed some of them below. Feel free to add any.
TUMMY - Stomach.
PANTIES - Come on! Moms, never tell your son to put on his panties. Use the word underwear please.
PEE-PEE (POTTY) - This is mostly used in potty training. "Did you go pee-pee (potty)?" How about simply, "Did you go pee"?
POO-POO (POTTY) - Again with the potty training. "Did you go poo-poo (potty)?" Isn't it confusing to a child anyway to use the same phrase for both body functions? This is where us guys have to almost give in because there isn't really a good way to say this. I mean, it just wouldn't be right to say to a two year old, "Did you take a sh**?" Even "Did you take a crap" is inappropriate. So, most of us will use a variant of poo-poo and say poop. It still doesn't feel right to say it, but I don't think there are too many alternatives.
BOO-BOO - Not to be confused with poo-poo. There are plenty of other things you can say here instead like hurt, pain, scratch, laceration, gouge, severed limb, decapitation. It all depends on the situation.
YUCKY - Disgusting, terrible, unpleasant, nasty, vulgar, gross.
ICKY - See above.
KITTY CAT - It's just plain ole' cat. OK?
I know there are plenty of others, but I honestly can't think of any right now. I actually went to Google and tried to find some more, but either I didn't use the right search term or there just aren't a lot of people really concerned about this sort of thingy... I mean, uh... thing.
