19 posts tagged “children”
I was talking to a friend this past weekend and we both agreed how important it is to enjoy our children. I think if I could pass along just one piece of advice to a new parent it would be just that. Enjoy your kids. Spend time with them. Let them know that you love them. Don't be so wrapped up in television or sports or making money that you find yourself waking up one day wondering how they grew up so fast.
There are going to be disagreements, but that has to be expected. No one said raising children would be easy and anyone who has done it can attest that it isn't. Just suck it up, accept the bad with the good and keep right on trying to be the best parent that you can be.
To this day, nothing makes me smile like one of my kids telling me that they love me. Well, maybe if they add a hug along with it.
So, flash forward a few years from my last entry. This time I was in the BX on Hill Air Force Base, Utah with my wife, daughter and son. My wife was looking at some clothing and it happened to be on one of those round, metal roll- around racks.
My son started acting up and, after receiving a verbal warning, continued to misbehave. So, I told him that we were going outside. He refused to go with me, so I scooped him up and turned toward the door. When I did, he reached out for the metal clothes rack and held on for dear life, causing it to tip and almost fall over. Totally aggravated, I tried to pry his little hand off of the rack, but he refused to let go.
I asked my wife for help, but all she could do was laugh. I was able to laugh about it later, but at that moment I sure wasn't happy. My wife and daughter still bring that day up once in a while (my daughter actually mentioned it when she commented on my last entry).
Raising kids is hard and definitely has its challenges. When my daughter was about five years old she decided to start acting up while were were shopping. She wasn't doing anything really bad, but she just wasn't acting the way I expected her to in public. I have seen children run wild in stores and sometimes even throw temper tantrums and fall on the ground while the parent ignores them or tries to plead with them to stop. Not me. I would warn my kids and if that didn't work we were going outside to discuss their behavior.
Knowing my daughter the way I do it hardly seems possible now, but she somehow managed to push it too far and we headed outside, hand in hand, for our discussion. She walked begrudgingly beside me and as we neared the door she started pulling on my hand, trying to get away. Tears started forming and before I even knew what happened she wailed at the top of her lungs, "Please don't beat me Daddy!" Now, I have never beat my children. I have applied the board of education to the seat of knowledge on occasion, but I have never beat them.
Heads turned and all eyes seemed to fall upon me. It was one of those surreal moments, kind of like you would see in an old westerm movie. You know what I'm talking about: the bad guy walks through the swinging door into the saloon and the place becomes silent as everyone stops to look. Well, in this case I turned out to be the bad guy.
That was one of the most awkward moments in my life. I felt like every person in there was going to rush to the phone and call child services. Needless to say, part of our discussion included not yelling out, "Please don't beat me Daddy " in public, or anytime for that matter.
Kids... what would life be without them?
School will be starting back up in a few weeks and we are hitting panic mode at our house. I understand the normal things like clothes, shoes, backpacks and supplies. But every year it seems like the list of items the school asks for gets larger and larger. For example, just some of the additional items that we are expected to send to school are bottled water, hand sanitizer, Kleenex and sticky notes.
I don't want to complain, but it seems like the list gets longer and longer every year. Who knows? Maybe next year we'll have to provide toilet paper and paper towels as well. Why not go ahead and throw in the cleaning supplies for the bathrooms tool? Heck, why not just have parents alternate cleaning days, then the school wouldn't have to hire janitors any more either.
I don't mind paying for my children's education, but it seems that it has all gotten quite ridiculous. Am I the only one who feels this way?
I took the family to Alexander Springs in the Ocala National Forest today. My youngest brother and his family, my mother and two of my older brother's sons came along as well. Florida has many springs like Alexander. The water stays 72 degrees year round and is extremely clear. We had a good time swimming and just lounging around in the shade under the oak trees.
It reminded me of when my wife and I were dating and went to another spring called Juniper Springs. For some reason a load of bikers decided to visit the spring that day and they were all over the place. We found an open piece of ground close to the bikers, set everything down on a blanket and made haste for the cold water.
After swimming a while we came back to find that our tin of chocolate chip cookies that had been made just for the occasion was missing. We immediately blamed the bikers. There wasn't a lot I could do about it. I was six foot tall and hardly weight 150 pounds and the bikers were... well, they were an assortment of leather clad, tattoed, overweight, long haired, furry faced men and women (no furry faces on the women though) and there were a lot of them. I might have been young, but I knew better than to start something with that bunch.
Later on, after bemoaing our lost cookies, we decided to take a walk on the nearby trails. On the way to the trails a movement caught my eye and I looked over toward the trees. To my amazement, our tin of cookies was rolling on the ground and there, running right behind it was the cookie thief. It was a brown, furry faced... squirrel. We chased him off and took our cookies back. Thankfully, the squirrel never managed to get the tin open so we still got to enjoy them (they were a little crumbly though). I did feel pretty bad about blaming the bikers.
My wife and I decided a long time ago that when our kids hit the teenage years we would do everything we could to encourage them. We had both heard other parents make disparaging remarks about raising teenagers and vowed not to do such a thing in our house. Think about it. It is hard enough for kids to go through the teenage years without their parents telling everyone how horrible it is to live with teenagers.
So, we have done our best to let all of our kids know that we are on their side. We want them to know that they can come to us no matter what. It hasn't always been easy, and I can't say that they have always come to us, but the lines of communication are open and they know it. I think that makes a big difference.
One thing we did for all of our kids is throw a big party on their thirteenth birthday. For my daughter (I can't believe it will be eight years ago in April) we had a nice formal dinner at a local restaurant called "Tea With Lee". It was a nice Italian meal prepared for just us and our guests. Afterwards, we went back to our house where the parents and grandparents all read a personal note to them that they had written. I even sang a song to her. It was a nice evening and one that I will never forget.
When my middle son turned thirteen, "Tea With Lee" just didn't seem appropriate. So, we had a big outdoor party that included all kinds of messy games and a lot of food. In addition, for about a year before the party I sent requests to teachers, friends, church members and even people in political office to write him an encouraging letter about heading into the teen years. I was excited about the response that I got. I even received a letter from the Governor of Florida, Jeb Bush, on the offical Governor letterhead (I also wrote the President, but never heard anything from him). I presented a book with all the letters in it to my son at the party.
Well, my youngest will turn thirteen this coming Monday. For his party, we decided to do something that fits his personality. He is a video game freak, so last night we had six of his friends over for the party and they all spent the night playing games on the Wii and Playstation. They also played capture the flag and hide and go seek outside for a little while, but the bulk of their time was inside. It wasn't over until about 11:00 this morning and he has been thanking us all day for the it. They all had a great time.
I just want them to know that they don't have to do the teenage years alone. We don't live in a perfect house. There are still communication breakdowns between us and the kids and heaven knows they still get in trouble. But I believe they understand that their parents truly care for them and will always be there for them. I believe it is extremely important that they know that. If you have kids, make sure they know that you are on their side. Sometimes it will seem like they don't want you there, but they really do.
When I was in school the principal was still allowed to apply "The Board of Education” to the bottom of any student who didn’t follow the rules. I was a pretty good kid, but I did manage to feel the sting of the board on one occasion. My friend Doug and I were pretty sneaky and we used to watch kids open their lockers and write down the combinations. We didn’t steal things though. We would open up a locker, put a cup of water on the lip of the door and then carefully close it back. When the owner of the locker opened the door the water would spill out either all over them or on the person who had the misfortune of using the locker underneath them. For whatever reason, we thought it was funny.
One day, the principal approached Doug and asked him if he knew who was booby trapping the lockers. Doug, being the great friend that he was, nervously blurted out, “It was me and Tommy.” So, the next thing I knew we were being marched into the principal’s office where we were scolded and then given the choice of either detention or two licks with "The Board." The principal kept "The Board" on a specially built rack on the wall behind his desk. It was wood, about eighteen inches long, probably six inches wide and had a nice handle on it. Oh yeah, it also had small holes drilled all over the surface to increase the “sting” factor. It was pretty intimidating, but Doug and I both agreed that we would rather have the licks than deal with after school detention.
Doug volunteered to go first and I sat in the chair and watched as he placed his hands on the front of the desk to receive his punishment. There were two loud whacks and then it was my turn. I placed my hands on the desk and braced for the blow. Just about the time the principal was swinging Doug opened the door and exited the office. As if it wasn’t embarrassing enough to be spanked by the principal, everyone who was standing outside the office got a ring side seat. I remember leaving totally red-faced, but I never opened up anyone else’s locker again.
Well, we had another emergency room visit recently. This time, my youngest son cut the back of his leg with a piece of glass that was inside the trash bag and ended up getting five stitches. The bad thing about it is that it was my fault.
You see, earlier in the week, he broke a picture frame and I cleaned up the glass. I had it all in the dust pan and was looking for a cardboard box to put it in but couldn't find one. So, against my better judgment I poured it in the trash can. I had a feeling as soon as I did it that it was a bad thing, so I made a mental note to take the trash out myself when it was full.
That plan would have worked fine except for the fact that I failed to share it with anyone. As fate would have it, shortly after I left to pick up my oldest son at soccer practice on Thursday, my wife asked my youngest to take out the trash and the accident happened.
I felt so bad about it. What's worse is that everyone at the emergency room kept asking questions and giving unapproving glances as if to insinuate that I had taken a knife and stabbed him in the leg myself. I'm not kidding... I was getting pretty upset about it.
NURSE: So... how did this happen?
ME: There was a piece of glass sticking out of the trash bag and it cut his leg.
NURSE: Well, does he have any other medical conditions?
ME: (We had just finished writing out his complete medical history to another nurse, so what I really wanted to say was, "We just went over all this, go read it for yourself !" But I refrained) No, he just has a cut leg and it looks like it needs stitches.
NURSE: So he cut it on a trash bag? That sounds strange.
ME: (And she has a college degree?) No, there was a piece of glass inside of the trash bag. That is what cut him.
NURSE: (Glances down, looks up at me with an unbelieving look and quickly turns to walk out).
Even the doctor got in on the interrogation, acting surprised at the story. I wanted to scream, "Listen, I didn't cut his leg! He cut it on a piece of glass! Come on people, does this really look like child abuse? For heaven's sake, how many kids have both of their parents come to the emergency room for a simple cut (excuse me, laseration) on the leg?"
Fortunately, it only took two hours from the time we got there to the time we were in the car driving home. Best of all, we somehow managed to leave without having to explain everything to child services.
I was looking through the pictures on our computer the other day when I came across this one. As the father of a sixteen year old who likes doing crazy acrobatic things, it really shouldn't have surprised me... but it did! As a parent, how would you feel coming across this? (Take a look at the dog in the shadows, silently watching as if to say, "Oh no, not again!")
Sometimes, when we go out in public I like to watch and listen to the people around me. I don't do it to be nosy, I just like to observe this strange human race that I am a part of. Things seem to get especially interesting when we go to the grocery store.
Ever since we've been married, whenever possible, my wife and I have gone grocery shopping together. A couple months ago we were walking down the frozen food aisle and I happened to catch the conversation of a couple as we passed by. They were in a heated discussion about how they were going to cook chicken for dinner. She was intent on having it broiled but he wanted it fried. I couldn't help but laugh to myself as I listened to each one explain why their preference was best. I thought they were going to come to blows but he eventually gave in and agreed to the broiled chicken, but when he said he wanted green beans to go with it and she said she wanted carrots, I knew it was time to move on.
We went grocery shopping today and on the way into the store we noticed a young woman pushing a full shopping cart to her car with three young children in tow. Donna empathized with her situation immediately and said, "That poor woman!" For a second we were caught in a nostalgic moment as we relived taking all three of our children shopping with us.
We went inside, gathered the items we needed and got in the check out line. It just so happened that we ended behind another young woman with children only this time there were six of them! I don't think the oldest one could have been over ten years old and the youngest looked to be around two.
She handled them all with motherly skill and the kids seemed to be well behaved. The one thing that caught my attention was the milk that she was buying. The carton looked a little different so I tried to read what it said. Finally, I saw that it was organic milk. I thought to myself, "That's nice. She's trying to make sure the kids eat healthy." But that thought was blown out of the water when she put a big ole' 48 ounce bag of generic Fruity Pebbles by the milk.
