57 posts tagged “general”

Maybe you have had something like this happen to you:

The other day I knew we were planning to have tacos for dinner so I decided to stop and get a 2 liter Coke on the way home from work. Walmart is right on the way, but I hate running in there for just one item, so I stopped at the CVS which is just off the main road.

I rushed in and went to the soft drink aisle only to find that they were completely out of Coca Cola. I didn't really want Pepsi, but since that was all they had I picked up a bottle and headed to the checkout counter.

At the checkout line a customer was pitching a fit about their passport photos. The lady behind the counter kept trying to explain the situation, but the irate customer refused to listen. This went on for about five minutes and didn't look like it was anywhere near ending. Frustrated, I put the Pepsi back on the shelf, telling myself that I really didn't want Pepsi anyway, and decided to run into K-Mart which was in the same shopping center.

In K-Mart, I walked all the way to the food aisle (and it wasn't a short walk) and was happy to see plenty of Coca Cola. I quickly grabbed one and went to checkout. When I almost got there I pulled out my wallet and was mystified to find only $2.00. (I thought I had more than that, but later remembered that I had left my other cash at home). Unfortunately, the Coke was more than that so I wasn't going to have enough.

Sighing heavily, I walked all the way back to the food aisle (still not a short walk), put the Coke back on the shelf and once again grabbed a 2 liter of Pepsi (although I still really wanted Coke) because it was only $1.29.

By the time I got up to the front of the store (of course there was only one checkout lane open) a line had magically formed and there were seven people standing in it, two of which had full shopping carts.

I didn't even stop walking. I just placed the Pepsi on the conveyor belt of one of the eight unused checkout lanes and headed out the door.

We had sweet tea with our tacos that night... and it never tasted so good.  

     Vince glanced at his ATM receipt and did a double take. He stared at it, positive that he must have read it wrong, but the balance still read the same: $75,137.17. With a shaky hand he quickly put his card back into the machine.

     From behind him an irritated voice called out, “Come on Dude.”

     Vince turned to see a teenage boy in a blue t-shirt and baggy, faded jeans with a black cap sitting on his head so the bill was turned sideways. He started to apologize, but changed his mind simply because of the hat. He always hated it when guys wore their hat sideways, thought it made them look stupid. Vince turned back toward the ATM without saying a word.

     He punched in his PIN number and made his way to CHECKING ACCOUNT BALANCE. He chose to view it on the screen and waited for the display. After a few seconds the screen confirmed his account balance: $75,137.17.

     His mind was racing. There was obviously a mistake. He had no doubt that the hundred dollars was his, but somehow an additional seventy five thousand had been deposited into his account. He stared at the screen, dumbfounded, until the teenager spoke up once again, “Hey old man, can you hurry it up?”

     Vince came out of his stupor. Old man? Did he just call me an old man? Vince was forty five years old and in good physical shape; made that way from years of working road construction. His skin was deeply tanned from the sun and a full head of sandy blonde hair hung down to his shoulders. His muscles were hard and lean and, despite the comment from the teenager, there was nothing in his six foot frame that looked like an old man. He tapped the screen to finish his transaction and retrieved his card from the ATM.

     Turning away from the machine he walked toward the teenager who was already making his way up the ramp. When they drew close to one another the teenager muttered, “It’s about time.”

     On the way by Vince bumped him, giving a solid push with his shoulder. The boy tumbled and caught the metal handrail in the square of his stomach, causing him to double over. The violent jerk sent his hat flying off of his head and Vince chuckled when it landed in a small mud puddle.

     The boy recovered quickly and yelled after Vince. Vince continued to walk away at a leisurely pace. Without even looking back he said, “Looks like you could use a new hat.” Then, with a satisfied grin on his face, he headed to his truck.

     Before he even got into the driver’s seat his mind was back on the seventy five thousand dollars. Where had it come from? One thing was for sure: it definitely wasn’t his. The bank had made a mistake, he was certain of that. However, it was in his account. What would happen if he withdrew it? Wasn’t there something about possession being nine tenths of the law? Could he even withdraw that much money at once? He didn’t know. He had never withdrawn more than a couple of hundred dollars at the time. Come to think of it, he never even had more than a couple of hundred dollars at the time. Every paycheck seemed to be already spent before he got it and spare cash was a commodity that he seldom had the luxury of. Seventy five thousand dollars. That’s a lot of money.

     A movement caught his eye and he spotted the teenager in front of his truck. He was walking with his head down, staring at the soaked cap in his hands. He looked up and saw Vince, gave him the finger.

     Vince jerked his door open and made like he was going to jump out. The boy took off and quickly made tracks to his car, pushing down on the remote unlock as he ran. He went past a tall van and disappeared on the other side of it.

     A few seconds later there was a squeal of tires and Vince caught sight of a car in his rear view mirror. It was a red, Ford Mustang. There was a large white racing stripe across the hood and the windows were tinted black. It stopped directly behind him with its passenger side facing his truck and sat there a moment, engine revving up and down. Then, the tires started spinning, but the driver held onto the brake and a large cloud of smoke rose up and drifted right over Vince’s truck. The driver took his foot off the brake and left the parking lot, squealing his tires all the way onto the main highway. He turned left and drove in front of the bank. As he went by the teenager rolled down his window and, through the smoke, Vince could see the smirk on his face… and the wet hat sitting sideways on his head.

     Vince shook his head as the smell of burnt rubber filled his nostrils. How do kids get cars like that anyways? He glanced around at his own vehicle, a ten year old Chevy S-10 pickup. It was a good truck, but it was getting old and had well over 150,000 miles on it. The headliner was starting to sag and there were a few cracks in the dash. He had thought about getting a newer truck plenty of times, but there just wasn’t enough money. After the divorce, there never seemed to be enough money. He survived from paycheck to paycheck, barely scraping by and, to be honest, he was pretty tired of it.

     A small band of onlookers had rushed outside to see what was going on. They stopped gawking after the speeding Mustang and slowly made their way back inside the bank.

     Vince sat in his truck, staring at nothing in particular. Seventy five thousand dollars. That’s a lot of money. The sound of passing cars filled his ears. Somewhere, a bird chirped happily. Seventy five thousand dollars.

     Suddenly, Vince knew what he was going to do. With a new found confidence he opened the door, stepped out and walked toward the bank.

I was talking to my wife the other day and she mentioned that her tummy was upset. I said to her, "You know, most men would never use the word tummy."

"What?"

"The word tummy. Most men would never use it in a sentence."

"Why not?"

"I don't know... it just seems like... like a feminine word."

Sarcastically, she asked me, "Well, what would a "real" man say instead?

I responded with, "Stomach. A "real" man would say stomach. It's possible that he would use the word belly, but that even has a slightly feminine edge to it."

This started a conversation on other words that I would never use and I think I can speak for a lot of other men as well. I have listed some of them below. Feel free to add any.

TUMMY - Stomach.

PANTIES - Come on! Moms, never tell your son to put on his panties. Use the word underwear please.

PEE-PEE (POTTY) - This is mostly used in potty training. "Did you go pee-pee (potty)?" How about simply, "Did you go pee"?

POO-POO (POTTY) - Again with the potty training. "Did you go poo-poo (potty)?" Isn't it confusing to a child anyway to use the same phrase for both body functions? This is where us guys have to almost give in because there isn't really a good way to say this. I mean, it just wouldn't be right to say to a two year old, "Did you take a sh**?" Even "Did you take a crap" is inappropriate. So, most of us will use a variant of poo-poo and say poop. It still doesn't feel right to say it, but I don't think there are too many alternatives.

BOO-BOO - Not to be confused with poo-poo. There are plenty of other things you can say here instead like hurt, pain, scratch, laceration, gouge, severed limb, decapitation. It all depends on the situation. 

YUCKY - Disgusting, terrible, unpleasant, nasty, vulgar, gross.

ICKY - See above.  

KITTY CAT - It's just plain ole' cat. OK?

I know there are plenty of others, but I honestly can't think of any right now. I actually went to Google and tried to find some more, but either I didn't use the right search term or there just aren't a lot of people really concerned about this sort of thingy... I mean, uh... thing.

It really irritated me this morning when I turned to the news and found that the incredible Navy Seal rescue on the Indian Ocean got less attention than the story of a new dog in the White House. Who gives a flying rip about Obama's new dog? The United States Navy pulled off a seamless rescue operation by simultaneously taking out three armed pirates and our media wants to focus its attention on "Bo" the wonder dog. I don't get it.

Not only that, after I did find the story of the rescue, one newspaper actually reported that we probably did more harm than good. We are told that the pirates are mad now and will be seeking revenge. By rescuing a US citizen, killing three pirates in the process, we have placed others in imminent danger, especially those who are still held prisoner.

What?!? So, instead of taking action we were supposed to pay the ransom and let the kidnappers go on their merry way? We should have given in to terrorists to keep from making things worse? I don't think so. That kind of thinking will encourage more terrorism. That kind of inaction would only turn the United States of America into a mandy pandy, mama's boy, no back bone nation. And I pray to God that never happens.    

No. We did the right thing and I don't care if every Somalian pirate in the world is mad at us.

Three things have taken up my spare time lately.

First, I've been reading a lot. I've been stuck on Clive Cussler for a while now and even though sometimes the story is a little corny, I enjoy reading his books. Also, my brother has a collection of Louis L'Amour books and I've been raiding his library. I just finished Hondo and even though I am not much for reading westerns, I thought it was a great book.  

Second, my son and I planted the garden two weeks ago. We learned a lot from our gardening experience last year and we are hoping for even better results this year. We've got a drip water system set up and so far everything is looking pretty good. We're even getting prepared to try our hand at the pumpkins later on in the summer. That didn't work out for us last year, but I we know more about it now.

Finally, I don't exactly know the correct way to go about it, but I am in the process of writing a book. I know, I know... a lot of people say they want to write a book, but the truth is most of them don't. For me, it has become something of an obsession lately. It's not about writing so that it can be published, this is something that I am doing for myself. I just want to be able to say that I started it and completed it.

I take my writing seriously but, to be honest I am pretty private about it. Other than posting it here, I really haven't told a lot of people. I did tell one good friend at work. He was courteous and showed interest when I told him a little about the story, but I could tell that he was only trying to be nice. That's okay though. After all, I don't expect other people to be as excited about it as I am.  

Honestly, I'm not quite sure how I am doing the reading, writing and gardening and still have time for work and family. It's a balancing act, that's for sure, but isn't life always that way?

Two things happened lately that have really changed the world that I live in. First, we finally put my son on our car insurance policy so this past week he got his driver's permit. To be honest, even though he's had his learner's permit for a year and a half and we have allowed him to drive a lot, it scares me to death to know that he is on the road alone. It's not that I don't trust him, it's just that so many things can happen on the highway and he's still got so much to learn. I try not to worry, but it's very hard for me.

Secondly, and probably the biggest thing to happen, is that my mother in law will be moving in with us in a couple of weeks. We've spent the last few days packing up the office so that we can move everything out of there and make a bedroom for her. It's going to be a little different having her in the house, but she's not in the best of health and as far as I am concerned that is what family is supposed to do. 

Back in December she had what the doctor's thought was Bell's Palsy. To this day her face is still droopy on the left side. She went to a different doctor a few weeks ago and when he looked at the scans from her visit to the hospital in December he told her that she had had a minor stroke, not Bell's palsy. We certainly don't want it to happen again, but if it does she needs to be around family.

So, my life has changed and I'm sure it will continue to do so as I get older. I think we get into trouble when we expect it to always be the same.  

In my forty-five years on this earth I have heard a lot of swear words. Throughout my childhood among farmers and hunters, five years in the regular work force, eleven years in the United Air Force and ten years working in a fire truck factory I’ve been witness to a lot of “colorful” language.  

I’ve heard swear words used as nouns, verbs, pronouns, prefixes and suffixes. I seriously thought that I had heard it all… until this morning. In preparation for the trip to my wife’s grandmother’s funeral, I took the Jeep in to have the front end aligned. As I was talking to the man in charge one of the workers busted through the shop door. Visibly upset, he walked right up to the desk and called out in a loud voice, “This is ree-damn-diculous!”

I don’t know why, but I found it amusing. I'm sure that I’ve heard someone throw a swear word in between the syllables of another word before, but if I have it didn’t strike me as comical as it did this morning. 

The economic stimulus package has passed through the House and the Senate and is on its way to Obama's desk. Much has been said about what is in the bill and what the money will really be spent on. The fact is, no one really knows exactly what it will be spent on because the 1,000 page document containing all the specifics was only released to those who would be voting less than a day before the vote. Unless they were speed readers or had an army of assistants pouring over the contents, our representatives in Washington cast their votes without being fully informed.

In Florida, Governor Crist has stated numerous times that he was for the package because it would bring a much needed boost to our economy, infrastructure, schools, etc...  Again, how did he know? Sure, we had snippets of its contents, but like I stated before, no really knew (or probably still knows for that matter) exactly what was in it.

I can tell you one thing that apparantly wasn't in it. Help for our school systems in Florida. I can say that with certainty because yesterday in Marion County where I live 522 teachers were told that their jobs would be eliminated at the end of the year. Yes, you read that right! 522 teachers will be out of work in May. That represents 17% of the teachers in our county. The news of this monstrous stimulus bill did absolutely nothing to save thier jobs or to help the future of our public school system in Marion County.    

I am disappointed in our government leaders for passing this bill without fully investigating it and making an informed decision. This isn't a partisan statement. I was against the Bush bail out as well. I am gravely concerned over the amount of money that is being spent and I am even more concerned about where this money is coming from. We can't continue to print or borrow money and expect to survive. It doesn't take a genius to see that we can't borrow money to get out of debt. That doesn't work in the private sector and it will not work in the government. Is there anything in this bill that will generate revenue? Is there something in it that will help recoop some of the money that is being spent? These are the questions that I would like to know answers to.     

Ted Kooser is a well known poet. Although I do not make it a habit to read poetry, I did read an interview with him in a September 2005 issue of Guideposts. The following is from the interview:

TED: You drive home from work, find yourself in the garage and can't remember a thing that's happened between when you left and when you arrived. To really participate in life we have to figure out ways of being aware of what's around us.

INTERVIEWER: Sure, but how do you do that with a busy life, work, family?

TED: The poet Linga Gregg has her students notice six things a day. Lots of days I don't notice six things. I'm not always successful, but I like paying attention to ordinary things.

INTERVIEWER: Six things. Maybe I'll try that.   

So, why am I writing this? I guess it resonated with me because I have done what Ted Kooser spoke of. More than once I've climbed out of my truck only to realize that I didn't remember anything about the drive home. I don't want to live my life and not remember what happened. I want to notice the things that are around me. I want to be an active, living part of this world that I am in.

With that in mind I am going to take Linda Gregg's suggestion and try to notice six different things for the next week. I've got a pad of paper and a pen and, starting Sunday morning, I plan to really pay attention to what is going on around me. I'm looking forward to what lies ahead.  

I will do my best to post the six diffenent things every night before I go to bed.

I received an e-mail a few months back while George Bush was still the president. The e-mail claimed that David Letterman wrote the article that I have posted below. Having listened to David Letterman espouse some of his political views, I find it hard to believe that he actually wrote it, but I guess it is possible. The fact is, it doesn't matter who put the pen to the paper, this is a good article and one worth reading.

"The other day I was reading Newsweek  magazine and came across some Poll data I found rather hard to believe.  It must be true given the source, right? The Newsweek poll alleges that 67 percent of Americans are unhappy with the direction the country is headed and 69 percent of  the country is unhappy with the performance of the President. In essence 2/3 of the citizenry just ain't happy and want a change. So, being the knuckle dragger I am, I started thinking, 'What are we so unhappy about?'

A. Is it that we have electricity and running water 24 hours a day, 7 Days a week?

B. Is our unhappiness the result of having air conditioning in the summer and heating in the winter?

C. Could it be that 95.4 percent of these unhappy folks have a job?

D. Maybe it is the ability to walk into a grocery store at any time  and see more food in moments than Darfur has seen in the last year?

E. Maybe it is the ability to drive our cars and trucks from the Pacific Ocean to the  Atlantic Ocean without having to present identification papers as we move through each state.
 
F. Or possibly the hundreds of clean and safe motels we would find along the way that can provide temporary shelter?

G. I guess having thousands of restaurants with varying cuisine from around the world is just not good enough either.

H. Or could it be that when we wreck our car, emergency workers show up and provide services to help all and even send a helicopter to take you to the hospital.

I. Perhaps you are one of the 70 percent of Americans who own a home.
 
J. You may be upset with knowing that in the unfortunate case of a fire, a group of trained firefighters will appear in moments and use top notch equipment to extinguish the flames thus saving you, your family, and your belongings.

K. Or if, while at home watching one of your many flat screen TVs, a burglar or prowler intrudes, an officer equipped with a gun and a bullet-proof vest will come to defend you and your family against attack or loss.

L. This all in the backdrop of a neighborhood free of bombs or militias raping and  pillaging the residents. Neighborhoods where 90% of teenagers own cell phones and computers.

M. How about the complete religious, social and political freedoms we enjoy that are the envy of everyone in the world?

Maybe that is what has 67% of you folks unhappy.

Fact is, we are the largest group of ungrateful, spoiled brats the world has ever seen. No wonder the world loves the U.S., yet has a great disdain for its citizens. They see us for what we are. The most blessed people in the world who do nothing but complain about what we don't have, and what we hate about the country instead of thanking the good Lord we live here.

I know, I know. What about the president who took us into war and has no plan to get us out? The president who has a measly 31 percent approval rating? Is this the same president who guided the nation in the dark days after 9/11? The president that cut taxes to bring an economy out of recession? Could this be the same guy who has been called every name in the book for succeeding in keeping all the spoiled ungrateful brats safe from terrorist attacks? The commander in chief of an all-volunteer army that is out there defending you and me?

Did you hear how bad the President is on the news or talk show? Did this news affect you so much, make you so unhappy you couldn't take a look around for yourself and see all the good things and be glad? Think about it.......are you upset at the President because he actually caused you personal pain OR is it because the 'Media' told you he was failing to kiss your sorry ungrateful behind every day.
 
Make no mistake about it. The troops in Iraq and Afghanistan have volunteered to serve, and in many cases have died for your freedom. There is currently no draft in this country. They didn't have to go. They are able to refuse to go and end up with either a ''general'' discharge, an 'other than honorable'' discharge or, worst case scenario, a ''dishonorable' discharge after a few days in the brig. So, why then the flat-out discontentment in the minds of 69 percent of Americans?

Say what you want, but I blame it on the media. If it bleeds it leads and they specialize in bad news. Everybody will watch a car crash with blood and guts. How many will watch kids selling lemonade at the corner? The media knows this and media outlets are for-profit corporations. They offer what sells, and when criticized, try to defend their actions by 'justifying' them in one way or another. Just ask why they tried to allow a murderer like O.J.. Simpson to write a book about how he didn't kill his wife, but if he did he would have done it this way.......Insane!

Turn off the TV, burn Newsweek and use the NewYork Times for the bottom of your bird cage. Then start being grateful for all we have as a country. There is exponentially more good than bad. We are among the most blessed people on Earth and should thank God several times a day, or at least be thankful and appreciative.' 'With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding, severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another, and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks, are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?"