21 posts tagged “son”

Two things happened this past week the left me kind of sad. First, my oldest son, who is seventeen, swam in his last swim meet. He made the regionals which were held in Tallahassee and we were holding out hope that he would make state, but even though his times were good, they just weren't good enough to move on.

My wife and I have known that it was going to be a sad day ever since the swim season first started. We've been going to his meets for the past three years and we have made some pretty good friends with the kids and their parents, not to mention the coaches as well. Donna took tons of pictures and we cut out every article that was in the paper, but when the last meet was finally over it left us feeling empty knowing that it was all done.

Now, he is playing soccer. Again, we are going into it with excitement, but with trepidation too, knowing that it is his senior year. I'm just not ready for another one of my kids to graduate high school.

The second thing that happened was more on a personal level for me. The regional swim meet was on Friday, so the team went to Tallalhassee on Thursday to spend the night. My wife got the day off and went with the team (I couldn't get the day off, but managed to leave work around 2:00 and get there for the finals). This left me and my youngest son, who is thirteen, at home by ourselves on Thursday night.

Every time in the past when my wife had to go somewhere overnight my son would be all excited because he could sleep with me. To be honest, I like it too. I know he is growing up and to have him ask to sleep with me somehow makes me feel like he is still little.

Anyway, when bedtime came around he didn't make mention of sleeping with me. It sounds selfish, but a part of me was crushed over that. In an instant I suddenly realized that my youngest child was no longer... well, a child. When I went to bed that night I went with a heavy heart.

My kids are growing up and I can't do a thing to stop it.     

I was talking to a friend this past weekend and we both agreed how important it is to enjoy our children. I think if I could pass along just one piece of advice to a new parent it would be just that. Enjoy your kids. Spend time with them. Let them know that you love them. Don't be so wrapped up in television or sports or making money that you find yourself waking up one day wondering how they grew up so fast.

There are going to be disagreements, but that has to be expected. No one said raising children would be easy and anyone who has done it can attest that it isn't. Just suck it up, accept the bad with the good and keep right on trying to be the best parent that you can be.

To this day, nothing makes me smile like one of my kids telling me that they love me. Well, maybe if they add a hug along with it.

So, flash forward a few years from my last entry. This time I was in the BX on Hill Air Force Base, Utah with my wife, daughter and son. My wife was looking at some clothing and it happened to be on one of those round, metal roll- around racks.

My son started acting up and, after receiving a verbal warning, continued to misbehave. So, I told him that we were going outside. He refused to go with me, so I scooped him up and turned toward the door. When I did, he reached out for the metal clothes rack and held on for dear life, causing it to tip and almost fall over. Totally aggravated, I tried to pry his little hand off of the rack, but he refused to let go.

I asked my wife for help, but all she could do was laugh. I was able to laugh about it later, but at that moment I sure wasn't happy. My wife and daughter still bring that day up once in a while (my daughter actually mentioned it when she commented on my last entry).  

Two things happened lately that have really changed the world that I live in. First, we finally put my son on our car insurance policy so this past week he got his driver's permit. To be honest, even though he's had his learner's permit for a year and a half and we have allowed him to drive a lot, it scares me to death to know that he is on the road alone. It's not that I don't trust him, it's just that so many things can happen on the highway and he's still got so much to learn. I try not to worry, but it's very hard for me.

Secondly, and probably the biggest thing to happen, is that my mother in law will be moving in with us in a couple of weeks. We've spent the last few days packing up the office so that we can move everything out of there and make a bedroom for her. It's going to be a little different having her in the house, but she's not in the best of health and as far as I am concerned that is what family is supposed to do. 

Back in December she had what the doctor's thought was Bell's Palsy. To this day her face is still droopy on the left side. She went to a different doctor a few weeks ago and when he looked at the scans from her visit to the hospital in December he told her that she had had a minor stroke, not Bell's palsy. We certainly don't want it to happen again, but if it does she needs to be around family.

So, my life has changed and I'm sure it will continue to do so as I get older. I think we get into trouble when we expect it to always be the same.  

On Sunday afternoon, my wife and I started a long overdue project - remodeling my son’s bedroom. We painted the walls, put in a wood laminate floor, sanded and painted the furniture, went through the closet and reorganized everything. It has been three days now and we are almost done. The room is complete, but we still have some items that need a home somewhere besides his room. There are a couple of things that I noticed over the last few days:

1)      Spending all of your time on one part of the house means that every other part of the house becomes a disaster area.

2)      Trash must be alive because it is definitely capable of breeding and multiplying.

3)      My back isn’t what it used to be.

4)      My son has never been so excited about his room.

5)      My wife and I have never been so tired.

Well, we had another emergency room visit recently. This time, my youngest son cut the back of his leg with a piece of glass that was inside the trash bag and ended up getting five stitches. The bad thing about it is that it was my fault.

You see, earlier in the week, he broke a picture frame and I cleaned up the glass. I had it all in the dust pan and was looking for a cardboard box to put it in but couldn't find one. So, against my better judgment I poured it in the trash can. I had a feeling as soon as I did it that it was a bad thing, so I made a mental note to take the trash out myself when it was full.

That plan would have worked fine except for the fact that I failed to share it with anyone. As fate would have it, shortly after I left to pick up my oldest son at soccer practice on Thursday, my wife asked my youngest to take out the trash and the accident happened. 

I felt so bad about it. What's worse is that everyone at the emergency room kept asking questions and giving unapproving glances as if to insinuate that I had taken a knife and stabbed him in the leg myself. I'm not kidding... I was getting pretty upset about it.  

NURSE: So... how did this happen?

ME: There was a piece of glass sticking out of the trash bag and it cut his leg.

NURSE: Well, does he have any other medical conditions?

ME: (We had just finished writing out his complete medical history to another nurse, so what I really wanted to say was, "We just went over all this, go read it for yourself !" But I refrained) No, he just has a cut leg and it looks like it needs stitches.

NURSE: So he cut it on a trash bag? That sounds strange.

ME: (And she has a college degree?) No, there was a piece of glass inside of the trash bag. That is what cut him.

NURSE: (Glances down, looks up at me with an unbelieving look and quickly turns to walk out).

Even the doctor got in on the interrogation, acting surprised at the story. I wanted to scream, "Listen, I didn't cut his leg! He cut it on a piece of glass! Come on people, does this really look like child abuse? For heaven's sake, how many kids have both of their parents come to the emergency room for a simple cut (excuse me, laseration) on the leg?"

Fortunately, it only took two hours from the time we got there to the time we were in the car driving home. Best of all, we somehow managed to leave without having to explain everything to child services. 

Joshua and I went to the airport yesterday to pick up my wife, son and some of the others who went to Romania. When we got there, we found out that instead of landing at 11:38 the plane had been delayed until 12:58. I thought picking them up at midnight was bad enough, but 1 am was even worse.

They ended up arriving at 12:45. They had an 8 hour bus ride from Romania to Budapest, Hungary, a 9 hour flight from Budapest to JFK, a 4 hour (maybe more) layover at JFK and finally a 3 hour flight from JFK to Orlando. Needless to say, they were exhausted. Unfortunately, to add to all of it, one of my wife's bags ended up getting sent to Miami, so we had to fill out paperwork and work that out. Once we managed to leave the airport, we still had an hour and a half trip to the house. It is 4:40 am now and we just got home about 15 minutes ago. I really should be in bed now, but I wanted to post this, mostly for my daughter in case she checks my blog for any news.     

Well, the computer came today and Joshua and I spent a couple of hours putting it together. It really wasn't that bad. The only problem is that the optical drive didn't come with a SATA cable, so we weren't able to load up the operating system. I'll have to pick one up after work tomorrow (holy cow, it almost sounds like I know what I am talking about).   

My youngest son, Joshua, has been bugging me to help him build a computer. He has some money saved up from when he showed pigs in the youth fair and wanted to use that money to buy the computer. We told him that if he worked and came up with half of it, then we would allow him to take the other half out of the bank.

Well, he didn't quite get half, but he got enough that we ordered it this past Saturday. He is really excited because it is supposed to be here tomorrow. I've never put a computer together before, but I have a good friend that helped me order all the parts and he has promised to coach me through it.

I have a feeling that when we finally get Joshua's computer together it is going to make mine seem like a dinosaur.  

Throughout my day at Islands of Adventure yesterday, I saw families walking around together. Some of them were laughing and having a good time and others were visibly frustrated at one another. Even though I had a great time with my son, I couldn't help but wish my whole family was there together.

At one point, I saw a dad pushing a stroller, desperately trying to make his way through the crowds, while a child of about one slept soundly in the shaded seat, totally oblivious to the chaos around him. Having been in that position myself, I moved out of the way and let him pass. He looked at me with a thankful look on his red, sweaty face and did his best to move on through the hordes of people. I watched him go and a pang of nostalgia gripped my heart.

My children are ages 20, 16 and 12. The way they are spaced apart, it seemed like we had one in a stroller for at least 10 years running. I remember those years well and the constant attention that it required to bring up a child. Now that they are older though, it seems like the time just flew by.

The worst part for me yesterday was seeing all of the dads with their daughters. I don't even know how to write this without making it sound like I am partial to my daughter over my sons. The only thing I can say is that I love my children equally, but there is just something different in the father/daughter relationship. 

We came off of one ride and a father and his daughter of about 10 were walking toward us. She was excited about something and she was talking loudly, waving her arms as she spoke. Then, about the time they got beside us, the dad leaned over and said something to her that I couldn't hear. I knew right away, however, that it was something goofy because the girl stopped walking, rolled her eyes, put her hands on her hips and said, "You're so silly Daddy!" I thought I was going to break down in tears right then. I don't know how many times I've heard Amanda say that to me.

Saying goofy things used to be (and still is) one of my favorite things to do with my daughter. For example, any time I was around her when she threw something, the words that always came out of my mouth were, "You throw like a girl."

She always answered with a heavy sigh and a loud, "I am a girl."

I know, it's goofy and it's dumb, but what can I say? I am eternally afflicted with the overwhelming desire to say goofy and dumb things to my daughter. I know she appreciates it, though, because yesterday I talked to her on the phone after we left the park and she was telling me about an older gentlemen that she and her husband knew. Out of nowhere, she says, "He says all of these corny things. I think you would really like him."

Feigning surprise, I said, "What? What is that supposed to mean?"

She just laughed and kind of struggled with her words, "Well... you know... I mean... you would just like him."

To be honest, I have tried the goofy remark thing with the boys, but they just don't appreciate it. I think it must be something that God only intended for dads and their daughters. With the boys, I kid around, but we have a different kind of relationship. 

No matter what kind of relationship I have with my children, one thing is certain. I am thankful to God Almighty for allowing me the priveledge of being part of their lives. My life has been, and continues to be, all the richer because I am a dad.